Why is turning 21 such a big deal?
Re: News journalist Te Ahipourewa Forbes talks about why turning 21 is so emotional.
Growing up, I never understood why people celebrated their 21st.
I thought it was an American thing because over there, when you turn 21 then you can legally drink and I guess that’s when you are deemed an adult.
But now when I think about it, 21 to me does represent adulthood.
While in New Zealand the legal drinking age is 18, 21 definitely feels like the age when people start to take you seriously and see you as an adult.
I feel overwhelmed, excited, nervous but mostly grateful.
In May, the UN reported more than 14,500 children have been killed in Gaza. I feel grateful because I get to experience that coming of age, these rangatahi won’t.
That’s 14,500 children who have been robbed of their adulthood, and the opportunity to experience life. That’s why I feel grateful and extremely privileged to reach this milestone.
Crying on my birthday 😭
I always cry on my birthday, I don’t know why I do this but I don’t think I’m the only person.
It might be the high expectations I set in my head of how the day should go or it could just be the overwhelming wave of love people show me.
My colleague Anna Murray said she’s always in a shit mood on her birthday.
Anna, who is the opinion and explainers editor at 1News, said it all started when she turned 21 - the stress of having a big 21st party was too much so she just didn’t have one.
“Now I think it's just some kind of existential crisis every year,” she said.
Party planning 😵💫
Like Anna Murray, I was also stressed out about having a birthday party.
My sister's party was so cool and I wanted it to be like hers. Chilled vibes at a family friend's house with all the right people around.
I didn’t want the pressures of organising it and inviting people. I also have a huge blended family and the idea of having them all together in one room just gave me the heebie-jeebies.
I’m gonna be so real right now and let you all in on a secret to what helped me: counselling.
With the birthday stress, becoming recently single, having a blended family and everyday stress like work, looking after my mental health and hauora, counselling was the best option for me.
Big shout out to my counsellor. 💋
The big night 💃
I was so nervous in the lead-up to arriving at the venue. I was scared no one would be there lol. But when I walked in 20 minutes late, I was greeted by all my family and friends.
The platters started coming out, everyone had drinks and it was a really good time with the best people.
The speeches were lovely and my fellow TVNZ work friends got up and said some words.
I danced on the chairs singing Maumahara Noa with all my whānau.
We finished up at the venue around midnight and headed to K Road.
It’s funny going to such a popular and busy street with a huge group of people. We lost people along the way but picked up a few new people too.
I got home at 4am and it was one of the most enjoyable nights of my life so far. 🤗
My advice to you
Just have the party, don’t let the stress overwhelm you. Don’t let things stop you from celebrating yourself. It’s stressful and it's not easy but I promise you, you'll have the best night ever. 💞
These are not paid recommendations - they’re just things we like, including stuff we’ve enjoyed watching from our whānau at TVNZ 💗
2000s Baby on TVNZ+ - Former Re: News journalists Maggie Shui and Liam van Eeden made a series about 21st birthdays. The docuseries follows five people born in the 2000s in the lead-up to their 21st parties. In each episode, a 2000s baby shows us what it’s like to ‘become an adult’ in their part of Aotearoa. - Mandy Te, Re: News Editor
Happy Valley on TVNZ+ - Zoe’s mum has asked her to watch this show so many times and she’s finally given in. So far she says it's dark, gripping and gritty. - Zoe Madden-Smith, Re: News journalist
Misfits on TVNZ + - Misfits is about a group of five delinquents in their 20s who get caught in a supernatural storm while on community service duties and they gain superpowers. It feels like it's based on true realities and it follows what would happen if we all got superpowers while also maintaining a level of surrealism and absurdism. - Nadia Darby, video editor
Ashley Madison: Sex, Lies & Scandal on Netflix - This is about a dating website that promotes affairs. A 2015 cyber security breach exposed all of the users. The documentary follows the cyber breach and interviews all involved. - Vivien Beduya, journalist