Rediscovering my style after having kids

Since having kids all the fashion trends have changed and Re: News journalist Steph Ockhuysen is struggling to keep up.

Since having my first child three and a half years ago, my wardrobe has largely consisted of items with an elastic waistband. 

Running around after kids you don’t have the time to really think about what you’re wearing. 

Whatever it is needs to be practical and comfortable. Practical for if you need to suddenly bust into an all-out sprint down a main road to catch a toddler and comfortable for, well, that’s pretty self explanatory. Comfort is life. 

Now with two young kids and slowly but surely starting to get my sense of self back, I’ve found it a real struggle to know how to dress and what my style is. 

All the trends have changed while I’ve been out of the game and now the majority of clothing I own is out of fashion. 

Skinny jeans have been laughed all the way to the hospice shop donation bin by Gen Z. I’ve had to train my hair to sit in a centre part because apparently side parts are out. Oh, and it’s okay to show our socks now. 

There’s a lot to learn. 

Trying new things

For the last few months I’ve been trying to rediscover my style and there have been some hits but also some misses. 

I had a haul of clothing arrive at my doorstep this week and have been playing with different outfit combos. 

Because some of these items are not in my usual wheelhouse, they have received some comments from family members. 

As I walked into the kitchen in a pair of leopard print flares that I had been inspired to buy after seeing on TikTok, my husband burst into laughter. Not quite the reaction I was going for.

Then, when I met my mother-in-law to go to a quiz night, and wore my new biker-style leather vest over a white shirt she asked if we were taking my motorbike and that I was dressed like I was trying to pick up chicks after a young waitress called me darling. 

Side note: Don’t let these comments from my mother-in-law alarm you, she’s amazing and one of the good ones.

Not every new trend is good

My point is, it can be daunting to put yourself out there and try new looks but it’s all part of my journey of rediscovery. 

Let me tell you right now though, there are some ‘new’ trends I will not be getting amongst because I grew up in the early 2000s and do not need to put myself through that trauma again. 

Things like low rise jeans and halter tops - I ain’t built for that no more. 

Then there are overly flared jeans which give me PTSD from when I was 12 and my foot got stuck inside one of my flares and I tripped over in a very public setting. 

I’ve also vowed and declared to never wear a pair of Crocs because that’s just something I can not get on board with, no matter how trendy they become. 

You do you boo

It’s hard out here trying to keep up and stay relevant but also be comfortable and confident in yourself. 

What I’m trying to live by though, and I’m pretty sure it’s a TikTok sound I heard once, is to just wear the damn thing. You like it? Wear it. Someone laughs but you love what you’re wearing? Who cares? Dress for you, no one else. 

When choosing what to wear in the past I’ve always thought about what other people would think and if I would stand out too much. But now I’m trying to let that go and dress in clothes that bring me joy. 

So if you’ll excuse me, I am off to wear my leopard print flares in public. 

Re: News recommendations

These are not paid recommendations - they’re just things we like, including stuff we’ve enjoyed watching from our whānau at TVNZ 💗

Colin from Accounts: I’m a sucker for any kind of love story and also cute dogs so when I saw Colin From Accounts on TVNZ+ it was the perfect combination! This Aussie comedy is full of lols and amazing writing. Bonus: it’s very bingeable for wet, winter days, and the biggest twist of all is who Colin from Accounts actually is. 

Charli XCX: The Brat revolution started a few months ago but I’m still obsessed. Charli XCX has got hooks and I can’t get them out of my head. Lorde and Billie Eilish have been amongst pop stars jumping on board Brat for remixes and I’ve got my fingers crossed there will be more to come. 

Taskmaster: I’ve devoured every season of the UK Taskmaster and now the 5th season of the NZ version is streaming on TVNZ+ with Aotearoa comedy legends Abby Howells, Ben Hurley, Hayley Sproull, Tofiga Fepulea'i and Tom Sainsbury. It’s great for a laugh and seeing your favourite comedians in precarious positions.